Monday, January 28, 2008

Sharing our Experience, Strength and Hope

THIS IS A REAL STORY of a wholesome two parent family blown to bits by the story of a mentally disturbed child who suffered sexual abuse at age 3 and what can happen to a family raising a child such as this.

I have loved my girls with only a mother's love and my instincts to protect have been in full force. But what else can we do really but honestly share our experience to help someone else who may be raising a child who was sexually abused at an early age and forewarn what the behaviors are to expect from a child who was damaged by the one who stole their innocence so brutally. Also may our experience alarm the world at the steps that are taken by tax paid state working folks to destroy innocent families and have no regard for the truth or getting these children the proper help they desperately need. FRAMING someone or anyone to make it go well for their promotion or careers. Sacrificing innocent lives in the process. If all it was to take was to love them into wholeness then my special needs girl would be well because that was the home she came from when she chose her own road instead.

She lived in a stable 2 parent family that provided a clean, peaceful and organized home. She loved her MOM and was like bondini to her all the years and then she truly loved her step dad who was kind and active in helping her in different things she needed. At our home, there were bedtimes, meals together and ethic's and morals and structure. Protecting her from unwholesome influences was a full time job! We had a garden, a greenhouse, fresh vegetables and health food. We lived a drug and alcohol free existence all her days in my home since 4 years old. We had faith in God to take care of us. Our grand kids also found our home a peaceful loving haven and came as often as they could. They kept coming back. They each "wished" they could stay and live with us. None was abused at my home ever! Though there were hard years working thru the trauma caused by my daughters abuse as a young child (unfortunately, whom she claimed to all was by her real "daddy B" ) we worked through it and was at a content place in life, happy until we moved near her oldest sister when she was 14. It all began to circle the drain from there. She was hitting puberty and began to do the things the therapists and psychologists warned me she would do. My daughter is emotionally disturbed from her prior abuse and was fulfilling the tendencies these kids have in-born by sexual abuse.
It doesn't matter what the girls did it will never change how much I love them. A mother's love endures all and they will always be at the top of my prayer list. What I learned the hard way was not to allow them to lie and manipulate their way into anything but to confront and challenge and I did and they hated it! When they opened this wicked can of deceipt, they knew not how to stop or undo it so with the help and intimidation and nudging from the powers at be, CPS, detectives who failed to do the proper investigation and then prosecutors who needed a BIG ONE for their resume, our lives were shattered on a set of lies and storytelling =by the girls who could not turn back. They fell into the excitement and drama and attention and entourage they were given as "victims" via lies.


As a mother that was devoted and protective of both my girls influences I knew when it was true and I know when it was not. At age 14 that story of hers was a complete false accusation on me and her step dad whom she really did care about. But off and running the sick and tainted story tellers were allowed full reign and support to do their damage without counting the cost. I was a good mother and my daughters loved me. In their own issues of dysfunction which I refused to "enable" they in anger turned on me and here we lie. Relationship in ruins, betrayal at its fullest and an innocent man in prison framed with "no defense to speak of" because of the little money we had available that paid for the inferior defense we received. No justice was served, there was NO fair trial, the full evidence was not allowed to be seen by the jury and my daughter has yet to be helped as her behaviors have escalated into criminal behavior. In fact she was dumped into the hands of the father who was missing from her life 13 years because he did not challenge the child's charges of sexual abuse. Because it happened in another state he got away with it. I never pursued him or gave it a thought since he was staying away. I truly had enough on my plate than go after him and really I was working through my own issues of forgiving him for what had happened to her. He had refused a polygraph or any supervised visits when she was young and chose himself, his ministry and new wife over a relationship with his daughter. He chose NOT to cooperate with the requirements for visitation posed by CPS back then. But now the all NEW CPS has currently handed her over too him on a silver platter with no questions asked! So now, as his angry and misled wife (who does not know me nor was she present during the ugliness in full bloom!) writes on this blog this week, she claims the ministers innocence all along, yet as a good politician would do 'as his campaign manager' is drag me through some slime to blame me. She's tried to make me look like it was my doing or my karma, my fault he did it or better yet some mystical boyfriend I was evidently having an affair with did it. Well, its very nice to find out what story he must have told his nice family all these years but it's just not true. She has never walked in my shoes one day! It's all right, I understand. I did not want to believe he did it either but it was out of the mouth of "babes". I did not leave my husband for another man. I left the minister because our other daughter had died from cancer, we were both broken and devastated and he was drinking too much and not handling it well and his behavior was scaring me (and his only son living with us!) The son who had to drive him around after he lost his license from alcohol. He was staying out all night then and was scripture whipping me constantly. Counseling was not helping so I moved out into a peaceful little apartment. Only for a couple months. He kept coming to get our daughter for regular visits then she started freaking out in terror to go with him. Begged me not to let her go. He had kept her for 10 days TOO long without a call to me. I was frantic he had kidnapped her. She was never the same girl after that at 3 was able to say the things her "daddy" did to her. That is when I left the state to protect her from further abuse! Now his new wife thinks there was a man in my apartment that did it. Well the "man" was my husbands friend and he had a 2 year old too. We talked some and shared some babysitting but she wasn't afraid of him, only her real father and she knew exactly who her "daddy" was! NOW I know this for sure: that if her father did not do it, he would have personally killed that guy his friend who he thought hurt her without thinking about it! Not save that "alibi" story for 13 years later as an excuse for not seeing his girl for all that time and running off to do the ministry instead! Well, God sees everything. They may deserve each other at this point which shall be interesting. Grace and strength to endure. I am only on the side of truth and healing. All I really care about is that my daughters both make it right and tell the truth. They will never be happy or well until they do. That is a fact. I Love them and pray for their healing and salvation and restoration of our relationship. I will never again play into their sickness and dishonesty. Never, they have become too dangerous. They scare me.

I want everyone in this story to submit to a unbiased polygraph to make it right. Dr Phil can be in charge! Those telling God's truth would have nothing to hide! Would they? Then we could all get on the same page for recovery, healing and honesty.


The sad thing about the real father and his new wife is that today all they can focus on is trashing me as a slut back when this happened or claiming its all about THEM and an attack on their ridiculous "ministry" instead of the horrible injustice and the molestation of his own daughter at age 3 and the scars it has left on her soul and how he abandoned her when he had the chance to make it right. At 17, she is acting out in a criminal way now and though they chose not to be involved in her life 13 years they just had her plopped in their laps recently by CPS with no choice really. They've been given amnesty just to take her off the STATES docket of $$$ responsibilities! They think that is being "vindicated" for the child's accusations as a 3 year old. God is in control. This is not over. He will take all these things and work them for good to those who believe and are wrongly accused and in prison!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I knew this single mother and her daughter when she was a handful in elementary school. I was astonished at the things the child was doing such as getting naked on the school bus etc. This mom was intune to her daughters troubles and needs and ran a tight ship at the same time with all the style and elegance she permeates. This mom is a beautiful person and to know her is to love her! How unfortunate to see these things happen to such a nice family. The entire world should get in on this story for true justice on the ones behaving dishonestly.